Joe and I have been married for 3 years in May. I am by no means anyone qualified to give anyone marriage advice. We have our ups and downs along with all couples and we struggle. I have also learned along that way what this calling that God has placed on my life.
So without further ado, here are my tips for a ministry marriage.
- Pray for Your Husband-This is obviously self-explanatory. But it is still the best thing we can do for our husbands, those who are in the ministry or not.
- Support him in private and publicly-I am opinionated, probably to my fault. I have learned
the hard wayto support him. Joe gets very hurt if I disagree with him in public, even on unimportant things. In private Joe encourages and asks for my opinion on things. But we give a united front when although I did not totally agree with his decision in private, I try my hardest to not let any hint of things show. God has whispered to me several times that He did not call me to be the Pastor but He did call me to support my Pastor/Husband. Another facet to this is sometimes Joe just needs to vent and I can be listening ear.
- Have fun with your husband-An important part of our marriage is doing things together, just be silly. It's important to carve out time for just the two of us. I also try to take those moments when he'll go to the store with me or go to the doggie park together.
- Be Flexible-I try to be flexible with my time with him. There have been times when we are out doing things or have plans when Joe is called away. I could easily pout or try to make him feel guilty, but I have to realize that his call is a higher one.
- Be Visible-let's be honest and say that people notice when the Pastor's wife is not present, justified excuse or not. I have not been at every church service by no means but I do try. But I do think it is an asset to a Pastor's ministry when his wife is seen in the church supporting the church.
- Make your husband your ministry-This is something I am still learning. Last year I went to a Women's Conference at Southern Seminary where I went to a session about this. There was a Pastor's Wife that spoke to this, and I stood there amazed at all she does for her husband. It really made me think my most important thing I could do for our church is making him my ministry. I would be a terrible Pastor's Wife if I impacted so many girls but did it at the expense of our marriage. So that may mean that I will not go to every event or be involved in every ministry, but I am called to make him my priority.
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