September 7, 2012

Where We've Been

It's pretty obvious that Amelia has become a huge focus of our lives. For someone so little, she demands a whole lot of attention. We absolutely adore Amelia. She is the smilest, silliest, cutest baby on the block and a huge blessing in our lives. She gets probably a thousand kisses a day and is now learning to give them back.

But I remember those days in the past few years that we didn't know if we were going to have children. We tried for 2 years to get pregnant with Amelia. We had two early miscarriages and many months tears. People would always tells us that we would get pregnant one day. But see, we are not promised that we would ever get pregnant. And I really tried to contain my bitterness for what seemed like everyone else was getting pregnant but me!

I remember that day we found out pretty clearly. I was a couple of days late on my period. So after my shift, I ran to Target and bought a pregnancy. I took it when I got home and I was pretty surprised that it was positive. I came out and showed it to Joe. But, our minds quickly went back to our history so we were cautiously optimistic. No big hugs, no crying.

I passed the point where I had miscarried with my other two pregnancies so I started getting more hopeful. Then we finally got to see the doctor at 9 weeks and had our ultrasound. And the technician quickly said, "I see a baby! And a heartbeat!" The best words! I quickly cried! I waas blessed to have a normal healthy pregnancy and had a beautiful baby girl!!

But those losses are still painful even with this wonderful girl. And my heart still hurts for those of you whose arms are still empty. I had to cling to the promises that God Loves us, that He has a perfect will for us, and that He is near to the brokenhearted.

So all of this to say that I do realize that being a mom is one of the best gifts. She gets extra big squeezes just because I know I can't take her for granted.

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