My Ministry Marriage Tips

Joe and I have been married for 3 years in May. I am by no means anyone qualified to give anyone marriage advice. We have our ups and downs along with all couples and we struggle. I have also learned along that way what this calling that God has placed on my life.

So without further ado, here are my tips for a ministry marriage.

1. Pray for Your Husband-This is obviously self-explanatory. But it is still the best thing we can do for our husbands, those who are in the ministry or not.
2. Support him in private and publicly-I am opinionated, probably to my fault. I have learned the hard way to support him. Joe gets very hurt if I disagree with him in public, even on unimportant things. In private Joe encourages and asks for my opinion on things. But we give a united front when although I did not totally agree with his decision in private, I try my hardest to not let any hint of things show. God has whispered to me several times that He did not call me to be the Pastor but He did call me to support my Pastor/Husband. Another facet to this is sometimes Joe just needs to vent and I can be listening ear.
3. Have fun with your husband-An important part of our marriage is doing things together, just be silly. It's important to carve out time for just the two of us. I also try to take those moments when he'll go to the store with me or go to the doggie park together.
4. Be Flexible-I try to be flexible with my time with him. There have been times when we are out doing things or have plans when Joe is called away. I could easily pout or try to make him feel guilty, but I have to realize that his call is a higher one.
5. Be Visible-let's be honest and say that people notice when the Pastor's wife is not present, justified excuse or not. I have not been at every church service by no means but I do try. But I do think it is an asset to a Pastor's ministry when his wife is seen in the church supporting the church.
6. Make your husband your ministry-This is something I am still learning. Last year I went to a Women's Conference at Southern Seminary where I went to a session about this. There was a Pastor's Wife that spoke to this, and I stood there amazed at all she does for her husband. It really made me think my most important thing I could do for our church is making him my ministry. I would be a terrible Pastor's Wife if I impacted so many girls but did it at the expense of our marriage. So that may mean that I will not go to every event or be involved in every ministry, but I am called to make him my priority.

Do any other PW have any more tips?




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June and July

The last time I blogged we were getting ready for our movie night. It was a success I think, until there was some type of power surge in the neighborhood and we had an unplanned intermission.  We watched Fireproof and we had a really great youth turnout.

Our 7 year old niece Mikah came up for a week to spend with us to go to our VBS. She came over 4th of July. She helped me decorate my Flag Cake. We had a few couples over to help us eat. I however was sick in bed but I heard it was great.

Joe came in the bedroom after lunch and we were talking. But, Annie was surprisingly quiet wherever she was. Joe went into the kitchen and found this:

 Finally, it was our VBS week. We had over 100 kids through our church doors. Although I think my favorite part was seeing Joe in the dunk tank during the Carnival Friday!

Soon we will have so more updates!

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Our Life in the Ministry

Today marks the one year anniversary of the day the church voted Joe into being the Senior Pastor. It was quite a journey to even get to that point. After the former pastor left right before we got married, many people approached Joe to full the role. Even as we were decorating the church for our wedding someone called Joe about this. I said "Absolutely not!" I was excited about being a Student Minister's wife, investing in youth, and starting a ministry together.

Fast forward a couple of months. Joe at this time had been the interim pastor, filling the pulpit, and I could see that he really enjoyed it. One day as we stood in our kitchen, I told him if you wanted to put your resume in, that I would support you. I think I thought even then, we are so young, there is no way this could happen!

But one year ago today the church voted Joe in and we started this new ride together in ministry. We've had our high peaks and our low valleys. We've had days where we have barely seen each other or barely even seen home.

But there are somethings I have learned in the last year.

• Ministry is way less about me and more about following God
• The congregation is definitely observing you but will pick you up when you fall
• I am a lot more sensitive to criticism than I realized.
• There many more blessings than trials, but you need to look for them with a heart of gratitude.
• That even in the valleys God is near.
  

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A Prayer for Pastor's Wives

Mrs. Mary Mohler offered this prayer at the 2009 Southern Baptist Convention for Pastor's Wives.

Father, what an honor it is to lift up my sisters in Christ who serve as pastors’ wives.

Thank you for raising up these women to serve you in this unique and vital calling.

I pray your blessing upon each one—wherever she serves across our denomination.

May she be mindful of the role she alone fills in the church as the wife of the pastor.

May she take seriously the importance of respecting her husband, encouraging him, praying for him and loving him with all of her heart.

May she never underestimate the importance of watching well over the ways of her household as she seeks to provide a happy home environment that will be a welcome refuge for him from the pressures and perils of ministry.

If you bless her with the wonderful gift of motherhood, may she nurture her children in such a way that they not only love and follow you, Lord, but also that they come to love their life in a ministry family as she ensures they appreciate the privileges that are theirs in this special calling.

As she serves your church, may she enthusiastically develop and use the gifts and talents that you have already given her through the power of the Holy Spirit. May she foster a deep and abiding love for the people to whom you have called her to serve.

As the women of her church look to her as a mentor, and they will, may she seize that opportunity to reflect godliness, contentment, honesty, compassion and perseverance. In order to do so, may she embrace the daily discipline of being a serious student of your Word, committing it to memory and spending much time in prayer.

Guard her heart; guard her mind; guard her tongue; guard her feet as she seeks to not grow weary in well doing even as many of her completed tasks may seem to go unnoticed. May she truly do her husband good and not harm, all the days of her life.

Your word tells us that “the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the entire earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” I pray boldly that you will find us to be just that kind of people and that you will use us as ministry wives alongside our husbands to do great things for the kingdom for the sake of the Gospel and for your glory.

You also tell us that you are able to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” and with that in mind, I ask all of these things in the powerful and matchless name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

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The Church Voted...

As many of you know the Church voted yesterday for Joe to be the senior pastor. I woke up feeling awful so I had to miss the morning service but I was determined to go to evening service when they voted. But the church has called Joe to be the Pastor and we are very excited!



And honestly I am a little nervous. I had finally learned all the youth and got to know them and now my task is much bigger! I think the church will be patient with me as I start these new change.

I am officially a Pastor's Wife.

























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